Love to My Mother

Waking up to a kiss on my forehead from my mother was never a routine for me. I never received affection from my mother. Growing up, my grandmother was my motherly figure; furthermore, my grandma was the one that raised me. The only what so called " mother" around was my grandmother: my mother was always working. I know she was working to give us a better life but sometimes it felt like we did not exist. I would wish every time for her to be home or at-least receive a hug from her. Because she was never around I started building this resentment. The resentment created by her never being around, greatly influenced my attitude towards my mother.
My attitude towards my mother was rude. I saw my mother as if she gave birth to me but not my mother. I was really rude to her. For many years my behavior was really upsetting to my mother. I never took knowledge of what she had to say or what she wanted me to do. I never had any respect for her. From my point of view she did not deserve any of my respect. The only respect that I had was for and is for my grandmother. My attitude was so rude that I always referred to her by her name.
As I grew older I became more rude to her. I came to a point where I could not understand why I had so much hate towards her. Just seeing her presence irritated me. There were times I just went off at her for any reason: I felt she deserved it.
Eventually after making it through high school I started seeing things different. I noticed how hard she worked to give us a better life. I stared realizing that yes maybe she was never with us but she kept putting the food on the table. After looking back, I regret many hurtful things i have said to her: just thinking about she had to deal with my behavior for more than 15 years. Now I know that she did everything for the best of all and I now say I LOVE HER.


Maricruz Marquez